What Lead Mares Do
/One morning, my lead mare Bowthorne Matty didn’t greet me at the gate at the barn like the rest of the herd. Since it was a very cold morning, I assumed she was in the barn sunbathing where I couldn’t see her, so I proceeded to spread hay. Sure enough, she emerged and joined the herd a few minutes later. Except as she approached, something looked odd about one of her front legs. She wasn’t showing any indication of injury in her gait, but I was concerned.
Matty’s ice-covered leg puzzled me when I first saw it. But in the end, I was grateful again for her as a lead mare.
When she got closer, I saw that she had an unusual coating of ice from the knee down. I was puzzled, but I had an idea but needed to finish spreading hay first. When I investigated a few minutes later, I found out I was right. She had broken the ice in the waterer to enable the herd to drink. I finished opening the waterer a few minutes later.
Matty Got her leg wet opening the waterer on a very cold day. I finished opening it a few minutes later.
I have learned over the decades that my lead mares have lessons to teach me. Matty has a behavior that conflicts with my idea of a leader. Recently, though, I have come to see the wisdom of it. All the ponies in the herd defer to Matty, except one. Matty will share piles of hay with all the ponies and often engage in mutual grooming with them. But that one pony pushes Matty around, tries to corner her and kick her, and generally is disrespectful. That pony is the bottom of the herd otherwise, so I have always wondered why Matty doesn’t stand up to her and put her in her place. I’ve concluded it’s about picking battles you can win and not wasting energy on ones you can’t. Contrary to me seeing it as a sign of weakness that Matty doesn’t assert herself with the bully, it’s actually a strength. It’s not a loss but a victory to not take on something that’s unconquerable as well as unnecessary. The bully isn’t a threat to her leadership; the rest of the herd doesn’t engage with the bully either. I applied this strategy recently when I felt bullied myself, and there is definitely peace in being able to walk away and get on with what’s really important to me.
There’s no question about it: I couldn’t do all that I do without my lead mares.
© Jenifer Morrissey, 2025
There are more stories about what I have learned from my ponies in my book What an Honor, available internationally by clicking here or on the book cover.
